You’re interested in natural family planning, but the thought of broaching the topic with your partner sends you into a mild panic attack. Or you’ve been dreaming of going off hormones, but think that a conversation with your husband is not even worth the time; its so obvious the idea will be immediately dismissed. Sound familiar? Well, we’ve got to tell you, you're not alone. In fact, this is one of the top reasons women claim they can’t make the switch over to NFP.
Unfortunately, we can’t say that there is a quick fix solution or offer you magic fairy dust to sprinkle on your husband to make him open to the possibility. Actually though, the first step towards a NFP boils down joint knowledge and communication. Easy to say, but much harder to actually implement. Communicating effectively about sex, and life in general, is the foundation of NFP, and the journey towards a deeper connection starts right now.
From middle school sex ed, all the way through marriage, most men view contraception as primarily a women’s problem. She ovulates and gets her period, she takes the pill, she represses her fertility, and she takes care of business to insure “worry free” sex.
But wait a second. Where is the honesty and communication in that equation? The relationship, the ‘WE’ of the intense bond of a sexual relationship, is mitigated by eliminating the need to discuss the aspect of fertility and sex. Sex is a powerful and intimate experience, one that is constantly changing and evolving, and should be a central discussion in any committed relationship. But in all honesty, it’s just not that easy to communicate lovingly and sensitively about the topic of sex. And the longer we can go without mentioning it, the more we tend to fall into repetitive, perhaps negative, habits.
Many women think that their husband or partner will push aside the idea of NFP as a contraceptive method, but in fact, as an NFP teacher, I find that once men gain the knowledge and are explained the logic of an alternative method, they can see the appeal and agree that it might be time for a shift. Look into the local NFP courses offered in your area, and see if they have an introductory presentation. Have information on hand before you broach the subject, then make it a joint exploration, even a date night where the two of you explore your joint fertility heath.
When you start the dialogue about NFP with your partner, remember that you are in a loving, mutually respectful relationship. No husband wants his wife to be exposed to harmful chemicals that have short term side effects and potential long term health hazards.
Your partner wants the best for you. He wants you to be healthy, happy, and secure. He wants to be involved and invested, willing to look at fertility as a ‘OUR issue’ instead of ‘YOUR issue.’ And above all, both you and your partner want to develop the art and language of positive communication. A discussion about NFP and birth control is only the first step in a wondrous journey of communicating effectively. Because after all, if you can make communicating lovingly about sex a habit in your marriage, you’ll be able to communicate lovingly about just about anything else.
With Special Thanks To Ira Winter RN MSc BSc CFCP at Life FertlityCare
To learn more about the benefits of NFP visit http://lifefertilitycare.co.uk/ .
